How to drive a bartender crazy when you order breakfast in Italy

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Few people don’t need a coffee to wake up in the morning. Many make the bartender angry when they order it. But what’s so complicated about ordering a coffee? Let’s find out together!

Vinhood Editors
Vinhood Editors
Coppia che litiga davanti a un caffè

Few people don’t need a coffee to wake up in the morning.

Many make the bartender angry when they order it.

But what’s so complicated about ordering a coffee?

Well, let’s get started.

  • Asking For Made-Up Coffees 

You know the saying “to each his own”? Well, not when it comes to coffee. 

Get that in your head. There’s no such thing as coffee with cold foam plus milk in a hot cup that isn’t big or small…. I mean. Unless you want to torment the bartender, keep the special requests to a minimum. 

  • “Can you make an espresso that’s not too long?”

Let’s start with the basics: a classic espresso has about 25 ml of coffee, while a long coffee can have up to 35/40 ml.

Despite this “profound” difference, too many people ask for a coffee that’s not too long and not too short, as though they actually have a ruler in their mouth in place of a tongue. 

  • Ask about 180 different pastries and then order a simple croissant

It’s your right to know what the bar offers, and even to take some time making up your mind. But if you make the bartender recite an infinite list of pastries, possibly when the bar is super crowded, and then choose a simple plain croissant, well… Then you’re definitely not an example of the perfect customer. But you’d be the perfect match for someone who does the same thing with the drink list at a restaurant, only to finally order a Margarita.

  • Talk on the phone while ordering

We’re all incredibly busy and know how to do fifty-six different things perfectly at the same time, but for once let’s try to focus on just one. If you talk on the phone while you’re ordering at the bar, the chance of the bartender understanding you is very slim, and the chance that you’ll get the wrong order is extremely high.

  • Order the same exact thing, one at a time

You’re all incredibly creative, and then at the bar you order 13 orange juices and 8 coffees.

One at a time. Come on, let’s say it together: “We can do it!” Just like in elementary school, we raise our hands, and one person orders for everyone. It’s easier and the coffee is even ready sooner!

Are you ready to order your next coffee politely?

While you follow our advice: #wearewiththebartender.

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